for
peter_weps_ince
Feb. 12th, 2004 01:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
It’s the ocean. The Sea.
He’s never seen it before.
Has always imagined it to be like the lake.
Just bigger.
He hadn’t thought it would be like this.
There are people about, noises, smells, but all he can hear is the sound of the waves, the heart of the great water beating against the shore. The pier. It is all he can smell – no – all he can taste.
The lake was like a looking glass hidden in the heart of the forest, but this –
This is like the woods themselves. Beautiful, and dark, and terrifying. Calling, just like the forest could, but with rhythmic sounds instead of whispering trees.
A drum instead of a flute.
And yet, so alike.
He’d been elated when Orlando had taken him to the state park, but there had been paths, and people. And picnic tables. This is more like it.
This is wildness.
Ancient and untameable.
Clay’s aware that he probably looks like a moron standing there. But it doesn’t matter. How can anything matter when the world is wild and beautiful?
He walks closer.
He’s never seen it before.
Has always imagined it to be like the lake.
Just bigger.
He hadn’t thought it would be like this.
There are people about, noises, smells, but all he can hear is the sound of the waves, the heart of the great water beating against the shore. The pier. It is all he can smell – no – all he can taste.
The lake was like a looking glass hidden in the heart of the forest, but this –
This is like the woods themselves. Beautiful, and dark, and terrifying. Calling, just like the forest could, but with rhythmic sounds instead of whispering trees.
A drum instead of a flute.
And yet, so alike.
He’d been elated when Orlando had taken him to the state park, but there had been paths, and people. And picnic tables. This is more like it.
This is wildness.
Ancient and untameable.
Clay’s aware that he probably looks like a moron standing there. But it doesn’t matter. How can anything matter when the world is wild and beautiful?
He walks closer.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-12 05:15 am (UTC)He stands alongside him and looks at the ocean. "It sure is a wild sea today, ain't it? I love it when it's like this - true nature."
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Date: 2004-02-12 05:41 am (UTC)He spreads his hands, looking awed. Then he remembers his manners, digs in his back pocket, and hands the man a piece of paper.
It reads:
My name is Clay
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Date: 2004-02-12 06:50 am (UTC)"I'm sorry - I sure didn't mean to startle you." Weps pauses and smiles, holds out his hand.
"I'm Peter - though people call me Weps. It's good to meet you, Clay."
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Date: 2004-02-12 07:14 am (UTC)Clay's hand is warm and rough. He's clearly used to working with it. he ignores that Weps found the note a bit embarrassing. People can't tell from a distance that he can't talk - that's not their fault.
his eyes are drawn by the waves again. He sighs, then realizes that it may seem a bit strange to the man next to him and turns to explain. He hates signing when he doesn't know people but he hasn't brought a pad so he points to the ocean, to his own eyes, down where he is standing, and then holds up a finger, all the while looking at Weps to see if he understands.
I've never seen the ocean before. This is the first time.
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Date: 2004-02-12 07:51 am (UTC)"This is your first time here - no, wait - your first time at the sea?" Weps deliberately tries to maintain eye contact with Clay as he says the words.
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From:(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-12 09:47 am (UTC)He finds Clay good company. Weird. Just met the guy five minutes ago. He's not uncomfortable with the silence. Hell - he welcomes it - sometimes onboard ship he actually prays for it. He smiles to himself and keeps walking.
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Date: 2004-02-12 10:02 am (UTC)He looks at Weps shielding his eyes with one hand.
He likes him. He's calm which is different from most other people he knows here. A nice change.
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Date: 2004-02-12 09:41 pm (UTC)"I love it - it's peaceful, but on rocks you need to be safe. You need to understand how ebb and flood tides affect certain marks. See that rock mark there?" Weps points to a clear demarcation of colour on the rocks above them.
"Thats a high water mark. But look just above - that ledge - you'd think you'd be safe there - wrong. On the flood tide the weight of water pushing forward straight at the rocks can produce high swells that rush up the rock face and could wash you off."
Weps smiles. "And that happened to me a few times when I was a kid. My dad always gave me hell..."
Weps looks over at Clay. "You ok there? Theres some coffee in my sack if you want some. Help yourself."
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Date: 2004-02-12 11:48 pm (UTC)He locates the coffee, pours a small amount into the lid, and sips it slowly. Then he spends some time examining the rocks, looking for weak spots and examining the water marks Weps talked about. And just feeling the texture.
He enjoys being outside, he feels relaxed in Weps' company, and he could look at the waves forever. Even though it's a bit chilli.
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Date: 2004-02-13 01:02 am (UTC)Weps recasts his line looking for a deeper pool, remembering telling his son on one of their camping trips about why fish go where they go, do what they do. He sighs and thinks about his son, the lost time, the lost treasured weekends teaching him about life.
Anchoring the rod, he sits down and puts his head in his hands. He's almost forgotten that Clay is there.
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Date: 2004-02-13 01:11 am (UTC)Clay carefully makes his way to him and crouches down, putting a hand on his arm, his face filled with concern.
Is something wrong?
There was a time where he would have considered another man's burdens none of his business but that had changed with Callie. A change that had been complete once he had gotten here, somehow finding himself acting like Callie more and more now that he was alone.
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Date: 2004-02-13 01:18 am (UTC)"Sorry, Clay... just thinking about things back home. I have a young son. I miss him. I was teaching him to fish."
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From:(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-14 08:12 pm (UTC)"Hey... don't worry. I understand what you're trying to say there. I've seen the same look on the faces of crew members' families when they've come on board ship to look around. It's not something everyone can do... and there've been times when I've wondered whether I can stand it myself..."
Weps pauses and looks up at the sky and then at the ocean.
"Someone asked me about this the other day. Being outside like this is essential to me - as essential as oxygen - and the bigger the sky, the better. It doesn't matter whether the sun shines or not - what does matter is being able to feel the wind in my face. After weeks of being cramped and breathing other people's air on board ship, I have to be outside. Usually I do it alone. But if I'm with someone who shares my love of being outside, then that's fine too - sometimes even better. If I didn't do that, I don't think I could go back on board and do my job. Does that make sense?"
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Date: 2004-02-14 11:34 pm (UTC)They've walked all the way back by now and Clay turns to Weps, encompassing the place where they stand with his hand, raising his eyebrows questioningly.
Do you know of a place we could go get that beer here?
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Date: 2004-02-15 02:23 am (UTC)"Sorry, Clay.. are you saying you still wanna beer? 'Cause if you do, I know just the place."
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Date: 2004-02-15 02:39 am (UTC)He lets Weps lead the way.
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Date: 2004-02-15 02:51 am (UTC)He sits down opposite Clay, hands him a beer and smiles. "I've only known you for an hour, but this feels good, comfortable - you know? But I'm not good at reading what you say - will you teach me?"
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Date: 2004-02-15 05:53 am (UTC)"Did Sean hurt you, Clay?" Weps points to his heart. "Here?"
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Date: 2004-02-15 05:58 am (UTC)He didn't mean to. It wasn't his fault.
He looks at the writing, then adds, almost reluctantly
I miss him
He casts a furtive glance at Weps.
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Date: 2004-02-15 06:12 am (UTC)"No - he might not have meant to hurt you but it was still his fault. The only person he wanted was Viggo. He knew you weren't Viggo, but he still went after you. He tried to hit on me too - but he didn't get anywhere. Pierce tried as well. Sean's a mess; he and Pierce deserve each other. You're too good for him, Clay."
Weps looks down at the warm rough hand between his. "Sorry..." he whispers and lets go of Clay's hand.
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Date: 2004-02-15 06:22 am (UTC)He lays his own hand atop Weps' for a second, rubbing his wrist with his thumb. A strangely intimate gesture.
Then he takes the pen again and writes
Before Sean I did't know
then he stops. His ears are getting more and more red. He makes a small gesture with his hand and grins a bit bashfully. He takes the pad again and writes
I'd only ever been with Callie. And once with another girl.
His ears aren't the only thing that's red now.
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From:(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-15 11:58 pm (UTC)"And when you promised her forever, you thought that it would be. Forever, I mean. I promised my wife that I'd love her forever, Clay, because at the time I made that vow I wanted it to be, believed it would be forever. But things change - that don't make my promise to her at that time any less valid, we just can't predict what the world's goin' to throw at us. It wouldn't be a life we could - seein' everythin' mapped out ahead." Weps pauses and sighs.
"What I'm sayin' Clay, is that part of you will always love Callie, love her forever, just as I do my wife. You'll have her up here, always - and here." Weps taps his head and his chest with his fingers.
"But we gotta live too, Clay. Findin' someone else who you like, wanna be with, work alongside maybe, make love to - that's part of livin- and that ain't anythin' you should feel guilty about." He smiles at Clay. "And yeah, it does feel good."
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Date: 2004-02-16 12:13 am (UTC)He takes the stack of paper napkins again and writes
It's just -
My Pa hurt Callie. Really bad. And when he died Ma blamed her. Set everybody against her calling her a witch. She
almostonly had me. And then Darkly came while I was gone and I didn't see it and he would have killed her and I couldn't get into the burning house because he'd crushed my knee and -He looks at the rambling sentence. It doesn't make much sense. He adds
I failed.
at the end. In slightly larger letters.
He can't fail her again.
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Date: 2004-02-16 01:15 am (UTC)"I'm sorry, Clay - you don't need to explain yourself - your feelings are your own. It's just me, buttin' in as usual, wantin' to put the world to rights, you know? You don't need to tell me this stuff - you don't know me at all."
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Date: 2004-02-16 01:49 am (UTC)I like you. I think we could be friends. I don't mind telling you
Then he grins, despite himself and writes
I've only told David
That is sort of amusing, seeing as how Weps seemed less enthusiastic about David.
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