for peter_weps_ince

[mute_clay]

It’s the ocean. The Sea.

He’s never seen it before.
Has always imagined it to be like the lake.
Just bigger.

He hadn’t thought it would be like this.

There are people about, noises, smells, but all he can hear is the sound of the waves, the heart of the great water beating against the shore. The pier. It is all he can smell – no – all he can taste.

The lake was like a looking glass hidden in the heart of the forest, but this –
This is like the woods themselves. Beautiful, and dark, and terrifying. Calling, just like the forest could, but with rhythmic sounds instead of whispering trees.
A drum instead of a flute.
And yet, so alike.

He’d been elated when Orlando had taken him to the state park, but there had been paths, and people. And picnic tables. This is more like it.
This is wildness.
Ancient and untameable.

Clay’s aware that he probably looks like a moron standing there. But it doesn’t matter. How can anything matter when the world is wild and beautiful?

He walks closer.

Comments

Re:

[peter-weps-ince.livejournal.com]

Weps looks on horrified as Clay stubs the cigarette out, then he grins.

"Reckon you're telling me something by that little party trick, aren't you? Probably something like, 'Who the hell are you - I only met you an hour ago so butt out, it's none of your business, don't worry about me - I can look after myself', eh?"

Weps sighs and gets up. "Okay, Clay - I'll keep my opinions to myself."

Re:

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay looks at Weps bemused, then taps his hand to stop him from going to the bar.

He writes

I used to live in a forest
fire safety

and grins at Weps. Then his smile softens and he puts a hand to his heart.

And I'm moved that you care

Re:

[peter-weps-ince.livejournal.com]

Weps laughs and squeezes Clay's shoulder. "Guess I asked for that - told you I couldn't read signs - except maybe for that last one."

Weps puts his hand over his own heart. "I only said those things because I do care." He smiles down at Clay. "Right, two more beers coming up."

Re:

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay smiles back at him and leans back on his chair, looking around the room. It's a nice place.

He removes a bit of tobacco from his tongue and looks at Weps standing at the bar. He likes the way he smiles at the bartender.

Re:

[peter-weps-ince.livejournal.com]

Weps returns from the bar with two beers and some potato chips.

"Thought you might want something to nibble," he says with a grin and flops down in his chair.

"So... what shall we talk about now?"

Re:

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay seems to consider this. He takes a couple of chips and eats them thoughtfully. Then he writes

I'd like to hear more about your son. If you want to talk about it

He doesn't know if it is the same for Weps. He knows that he himself sometimes needs to share something about Callie. So he won't forget. Being here, so far away

Re:

[peter-weps-ince.livejournal.com]

"It's funny - I was having a similar conversation about my son with someone else a while ago." Weps smiles at Clay. "To be honest, I'd rather talk about him and be a little sad than not talk about him - if that makes sense. It's important that I remember him.

He's wonderful - but then all parents say that I suppose. He makes me laugh. He keeps me young. He keeps me fit. He's so serious sometimes. He has these little expressions, sayings. He tells me things his momma obviously doesn't want him to tell me... We go camping together - sleep outside, go fishing, look for animal tracks. It's a totally different relationship to anything I've ever known - it's a love unlike any other..."

Weps pauses, swallowing hard, blinking back tears. "I miss him - but I know his momma'll be looking after him. What I can't bear is him thinking I've abandoned him - that he's done something wrong - you know?"

Re:

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay nods to the first sentiment and then sits smiling while Weps talks.

His face lights up when he talks about his son, his eyes full of joy.
It must be wonderful, being able to experience that.

When Weps has to swallow, trying to compose himself, Clay leans over, without thinking, and strokes his hand. Just like he would do with David. Or Orlando. His eyes show that he feels Weps' pain.

Re:

[peter-weps-ince.livejournal.com]

Weps smiles a little blearily and grasps Clay's hand for a moment. "Thanks," he whispers, then rubs his eyes furiously and starts looking in his wallet.

"Of course, I have pictures - but only two - and it's funny because I can't remember either them being taken or putting them in my wallet."

Weps hands Clay a very creased picture. "This was taken at a friend's kids birthday party."



"... and here - same party. The guy's Hunter - the birthday girl's dad. He's pretty special to me as well - someone else I miss like hell."

Re:

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay takes the pictures carefully and looks at them.
He smiles at Weps and signs he's got your eyes, indicating the boy in the picture and then touching the corner of Weps' eye gently.
His finger comes away moist.

He studies Hunter as well. He reminds him a bit of the undertaker but whether because of skin tone or huge grin he can't say.

He hands the pictures back.

Re:

[peter-weps-ince.livejournal.com]

Weps takes the pictures back and replaces them in his wallet.

"Jed. My son - his name's Jed. After my dad. I don't think I told you. "

He smiles a little sadly. "Thank you for asking about him. It does help to think about him." He pauses.

"What about the girl in your picture, Clay. Where is she?"

Re:

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay gives him a little smile and takes the stack of paper napkins.

He writes

Her name's Callie. I left her some time ago. She was with the circus people. We traveled with them after our home burned down.
I think she'd stopped loving me after that. She just hadn't noticed.

I still loved her. So I left. Gave her freedom.



He looks down at the writing, then adds

I loved her so much I thought I'd die once I left - guess I was wrong

His smile is wry but there is still a tinge of sadness to it. He still misses her.

Re:

[peter-weps-ince.livejournal.com]

Weps reads Clay's words and swallows hard.

"You must've loved her a whole lot to let her go, Clay. Just shows you what an amazing thing love can be."

Weps sits and thinks about the emotion he's shared with this man who looks uncannily similar to himself in many ways and yet up until a few hours ago had not even known he existed. Yet it seems comfortable, right. He drinks his beer and grabs a handful of chips and munches on them, smiling at Clay and wondering if he'll ever get home.

"You'll find love again, Clay. Everyone finds it again, sometime."

Re:

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay shrugs.

Maybe

He doesn't look convinced though.

Then he smiles at Weps and signs

>This is nice, sitting here, talking pointing to himself, to Weps, encompassing the room with one hand.

He notices that Weps is getting to the bottom of his glass and points to it, lifting an eyebrow questioningly.

Do you want one more?

Re:

[peter-weps-ince.livejournal.com]

Weps smiles widely. "I got that one, Clay - and yeah, it is nice - feels like we've know each other for longer than we have."

He watches Clay's eyes, his hands and grins. "Yeah - why not? One more - then I'd best get home."




OOC - that's me away for the night now! Will catch up tomorrow hopefully...

Re:

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay walks up to the bar and orders. It takes a while. The young woman behind the counter starts chatting and he has to tell her that he can't speak, tapping his throat and shaking his head. She's most embarrassed by it and Clay has to endure quite a lengthy apology before he can escape.

He sets the glasses down and sighs but his eyes are sparkling.

Re:

[peter-weps-ince.livejournal.com]

Weps grinsat Clay when he returns to the table. "Seems to me you were gettin' on just fine up there... and don't tell me you weren't - I can see it in your eyes."

He pauses. "You needn't stick here with me - I can down this in one," he whispers, lifting his glass. "Go sit at the bar."

Re:

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clays eyes widen and then he shakes his head.

Oh no. No no no.

With the face of a man who knows that what he is about to say he writes

I feel guilty. If it's a girl

He glances back at the bar and adds

It's kind of nice though

Re:

[peter-weps-ince.livejournal.com]

Weps puts his glass down and looks at Clay.

"Why no, Clay?" he asks softly. "Why should you feel guilty?"

Re:

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay colors a bit. He knows it's silly.
But he can't help thinking like that.

He takes the picture of Callie from his pocket and lets a thumb caress her little face.

Then he writes

I promised her forever.