mute_clay

1. I'm a girl.
2. I like to bake.
3. Being helpless.
4. Shortcut.
5. Peace of mind.
6. Mr. Gordo, this little stuffed toy pig I've had since I was little.
7. Drive people away.
8. I love having the backs of my knees and legs touched.
9. I don't like being bitten on my neck.
10. "I can deal with this." That's... the one I usually tell myself. Does that count?
11. ... I dunno.
12. Kinda. Sometimes.
13. Chocolate.
14. In the hospital -- when I was -- nothing, it felt like, Richard -- he didn't care. He held me, and said that I was beautiful, and that he loved me, and he let me cry. It was -- that, and the time, after Angel first went -- I thought Giles would be so angry, so disappointed, and he just... he told me that all I'd get was his support.
15. Go someplace far away. Take Richard, and leave, and... come back, eventually, probably, but... not for awhile.
16. The past few weeks... a lot of nights. Nightmares, mostly.
17. The whole week, from when Richard first got back, to the night I was -- a couple of weeks ago.
18. ... uh, no.
19. Drew all over my wall.
20. Sure. If I remember to.

From:

Apparently I can't follow directions. I posted it in my journal. *wry grin*

From:

1. Tell me something obvious about you.
I have brown eyes.

2. Tell me something about you that many don't know.
I'm scared of snakes.

3. What is your biggest fear?
That Will won't come home.

4. Do you normally go the safe route or take the short cut?
Short cut.

5. Name one thing you want that you can't buy with money.
Commitment.

6. What is your most treasured possession?
My necklaces.

7. What is the one thing you hate most about yourself that you do often?
Whinge.

8. Tell me something sexually about you that I don't know.
I can't think of anything.

9. Tell me something sexually about you that everyone knows.
I'm gay.

10. What is your favorite lie to tell?
That I'm okay.

11. Name something you've done once that you can't wait to do again.
Skydive.

12. Are you the jealous type?
Yes.

13. What is the one person, place or thing you can't say no to?
Will.

14. What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?
I don't know.

15. If you could do something crazy right now, what would it be?
Find Will and leave here, and go somewhere that no one could ever find us again.

16. When was the last time you cried?
The night Will disappeared.

17. When was the last time you felt so good that nothing else mattered?
About two minutes before Will disappeared.

18. Do you feel comfortable in public with no shirt on?
Yeah.

19. Name something embarrassing you did while being drunk.
Kissed the entire Fellowship.

20. If you post this in your journal would you like me to answer it?
Yes.

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He'll come back, Orlando.

... this guy goes for the hurt, not the kill.

Believe me, I know.

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Buffy, I'm so so sorry.

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Why?

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I'm sorry you were hurt.

I'm sorry I wasn't there for you more.

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I was --

~~Yeah, well, now you want me to return the favor, so hey.~~

It's not your fault. You didn't do anything. You've got nothing to be sorry for.

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I just... I wasn't. I didn't realize.

I feel like an idiot.

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*quietly, after a few silent moments*

You know that you're not.

If the news hadn't got ahold of the story, no one would've known but Richard, anyway. And that's just because we were basically living together.

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I know now how Richard must have felt.

Buffy, when you came home, what did you need the most?

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I don't know. I couldn't feel anything. I was like a robot, I couldn't feel anything.

Except -- I wanted to die.

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*aches*

What... what made it better?

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Demon slaughter.

And Richard.

The first thing I said to him was "I'm sorry". I couldn't look at him. I wanted to die.

He held me, and said I was wrong, it wasn't my fault, and said that I was beautiful and brave. ~~And that he loved me, and he wanted to marry me because he felt sick when he thought he'd lost me.~~

He knew what I needed better than I did. I mainly just felt like I was dead. Or should be.

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I still have faith that Will's coming home. I know it's been a long time now, and it's probably not realistic, but I do.

I know he's going to be mentally traumatized, and I don't even know about physically, but I want to help him. I know just love isn't enough.

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He goes for the pain, not the kill. Will is coming back. I was gone for almost as long. Or so I'm told. I was drugged most of it.

Take him to a hospital. They had a therapist come and do an analysis of me. They let Richard stay with me for it, and they talked to him for awhile alone, afterwards. The professional will be able to tell you what he needs.

Richard had to cook for me the first few days. I forgot to eat otherwise.

Maybe you should talk to Richard. He always seemed to know. I was in a fog.

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Okay. Thank you.

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For what?

*smiles drily* Richard's the one who did most of the work.

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For listening. For not judging when you could.

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Why...

It'll be okay.

Maybe not right away, but it will.

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Then I'll keep hoping.

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1. Hablo español.
2. I -- know things. Without being told them. I just know them. What people are thinking or planning, what's going to happen before it does. Not always, and not really all that strongly. Just -- feelings. Like -- itching. Bug bites. In my brain, or my heart, or wherever they are.
3. Being worthless. And I'm not crazy about cockroaches or helicopters.
4. Safe route.
5. To go home. Amy offered to help me find a way, but I don't know if it can be done.
6. The necklace Mamá gave me before I started working in the mines. It's all I have of home.
7. Prove how little I know.
8. *blushing and grinning* Mi espalda es muy sensible -- my back, and my ass. Very, very sensitive. Just -- a light touch, someone running their fingers over the skin, barely even grazing -- makes me shiver. In a good way.
9. I'm bisexual.
10. "I'm fine."
11. Eaten ice cream. It's so expensive where I come from, real ice cream, porque la leche -- we use it for other things, more important things.
12. Si.
13. Back home -- my best friend.
14. Aquí, in this world? When you talked to me. *smiles, shrugging, a little awkwardly* It was the first time anyone had. Back home... I don't know that I could pick one thing. Friends who would buy me a pint, the way we'd take care of each other in the camps, when Mamá gave me the necklace... everything runs together, and everything meant a lot.
15. Run as far as I could, as far as it took to see the stars.
16. Last night. I'd been walking all day, all over the city, and I'm down to my last few slices of bread and peanut butter for food, and everyone just laughs in my face when I ask them if they need an extra pair of hands in the warehouse or the dock or something.
17. A few months ago, before I went back to the camps. I spent a last night with Lilah before she had to go back home, to earth.
18. ... generalmente, no.
19. Threatened to fight one of my best friends. Twice. I was joking. I think.
20. If you feel so inclined.

From:

If you need a job I might be able to help you get something. IT probably won't pay well or be interesting but -

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Her jaw drops a little, and she grins, disbelievingly. "Really? I -- seriously? I don't care about pay, anything is more than I'm making now. I'm strong, I know I don't look it, that's why none of the places I've tried took me seriously, probablemente. But I am. If you could -- then I lied, that would be the nicest thing anyone's done for me here."

From:

He grins at her.

I work at a place where we make coffins. But the place we get the wood from, they seem to be looking for workers most of the time. I'll ask.

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Caragh gives a little squeal of excitement, grabbing Clay's hands and spinning him around. "Dios mio! De veras? Clay, I could kiss you!"

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He laughs, soundlessly.

Well, feel free.

It gives a small sting, seeing a pretty, happy girl, so like - but that doesn't matter.

We're going to pick up some oak the day after tomorrow. I can ask them then.

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Still smiling broadly, she leans in and kisses him, once on each cheek, and then, briefly, but firmly, on the lips.

"I always believed things work out okay in the end," she says. "The universe doesn't just let things happen because. If I'm here, there's a reason, and that means I'll be able to survive. Be stupid of the universe just to plunk me down here so I can starve on the streets. Waste of energy, or whatever it took to bring me here. I make a friend, and I get a job, and I survive."

She squeezes his hand and bounces a little on the balls of her feet. "Gracias. Thank you."

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The kiss is a bit of a surprise. He didn't think she meant it.

It's a nice one though.

He nods at her sentiment. Not because he agrees necessarily, he still hasn't been able to see any sense in the existence of people like Darkly, but he can see why believing that is good. WHy it makes you stronger. More patient perhaps.

How can I let you know what they say?

Not asking for her address of course. That would hardly be proper. Neither asking for a number - he still hasn't gotten quite used to the abundance of phones.

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Caragh frowns, thoughtfully. "Good question. I haven't got a phone yet, and it's not like that'd do us much good anyway. And you shouldn't have to hike all over town to get to the hostel I'm in." She hadn't gone to a shelter, not out of pride, but because she felt that there were people who needed it a lot more than she did -- after all, she didn't have family or children to feed, and she would find a job soon enough.

"Is there a park, or a bar, or something, we could meet at? Whenever's good for you?"

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Clay thinks. It's a bit cold to be meeting outside. Then again, he'd rather not suggest the place Callie used to work.

He ends up giving her the address for a small bar close to where he works, scribbled down on a small piece of paper.

I'll be there after 4 most like.

He smiles at her. He knows what it feels like when people won't hire you.

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miss-lockhart.livejournal.com

~~I wasn't... well, no, I sorta was, wasn't I... hmm.~~

1. I'm a doctor. Though that's more obvious when I'm at work.
2. I'm divorced.
3. Having a family. Screwing up a family.
4. Safe route.
5. For all my friends to be happy.
6. Me engagement ring.
7. I cave. A lot.
8. You don't know very much, I don't think *smiles* so... I've been told I'm a good kisser.
9. I'm the er slut *nods*
10. My age. It changes all the time, but it's rarely true.
11. Stayed with Charlie in Romania.
12. Yeah. To the point of paranoia.
13. Logan.
14. A friend of mine snuck me onto an Air Force base once to visit my brother. He could've gotten kicked out of the Army for that.
15. Just get Logan, get on his bike and go.
16. The other night.
17. This morning.
18. Not really, no.
19. Danced on a bar. But I didn't fall.
20. You already did.

And that was just a formality, because... listen, Clay, I know we haven't really talked a lot lately, but d'you wanna get a cup of coffee or something? Catch up a little?

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