mute_clay

Clay arrives with a bag with two bottles of DOmestos, a bag of fairly odourless, thin rubber gloves, a chew-bone for Dog, and a small wrapped present.

He puts the bag down and knocks.

The building is the kind where you're surprised if the lift works for once and you quickly learn the habits of the other tenants since the bathroom is communal. But there are hardly any roaches and the apartment itself is small but functional. There is a kitchenette and quite a large closet in the bedroom and Clay has been told that he is free to use two rooms in the basement since his neighbor is afraid of going down there.

He's gotten a used couch and a stained coffee table and he thinks it's beginning to look quite cozy.

He's stacked the boxes and is slowly unpacking. He sent a text message to Callie, telling her that his new place needed green things and giving her the address. He doesn't know when she will come but he knows that she will come.

He wants to give Orlando one of his new carvings but he thinks it may be the wrong thing to do. He doesn't want to hurt him. He decides he will ask Callie when she gets here. She'll know what to do.

If the world was going to end tomorrow, I’d go pick Callie up. We’d go into the forest. I’d get her flowers and she’d make a crown for herself and I would carry her across the steams and twirl with her till she got dizzy. Laughed.
We’d have a picnic and then we’d make love on the forest floor. I’d go down on her and make her scream. She’d ride me till everything disappeared.
We wouldn’t talk about it. The world ending. We wouldn’t talk about the past either.

We’d just eat and make love and stay up till the stars came out and try to count them. And maybe she’d cry. And maybe I’d cry. And maybe we’d fall asleep. And wake up and make love again.

That’s what I would do. If I was told the world would end tomorrow.

Of course, no one’s going to tell me that. My world went down in flames when Darkly torched our house. My world died when Callie went through the ashes looking for traces of him. My world – does not exist any more.

If somebody told me that the world would end tomorrow, I’d go ask David if he wanted to come down to the beach with me. He might. I’d make a bonfire and we would have a few beers. I’d try and teach him a coin trick or two and he would laugh at me. Then he’d fall asleep and I would stay up. Looking at the stars. Maybe Callie would come. Maybe she wouldn’t. I wouldn’t get angry with her if she didn’t. I understand those things better now.

There’ll be no more green leaves and hot springs. No more pain but no more joy either. When the world has ended.

Then again, my world did end. And sometimes I still smile.


Muse: Clay
Fandom: Passion of Darkly Noon (Misc. Movies)
Count: 305

He's got Rannuccio's key now. He gave it to him.

He walks down to the tavern and climbs the stairs. His hands are trembling a little.

The room is empty. He undresses, folding his clothes very carefully and gets under the blanket. Ranuccio will come soon. He knows he will.

I've done something Bad. Something very very Bad.

I can feel it. In my stomach.

I don't know what it is.

I remember going out with Ranuccio yesterday. And meeting David. But in between there's nothing. Just a black empty nothing. Except -

I did something.

I think there is something behind my eyes. Something looking out from inside me.

I've been Bad. The kind of Bad that makes them throw stones at you. The kind that makes sure that no one will want to be your friend.

I can't remember.

I should go away. I should leave.

I've put the glass butterfly in the window. It's very pretty. And so fragile.

I should go.

Somebody said no. I remember that. Somebody said no and my cock hurts and I -

Bad.
Bad bad bad bad bad.

After having seen David he walks down to Alexander’s place. That’s where she is. He knows that is where she is.

For the shortest of moments he considers not going. Maybe calling her instead?
But he can’t. He has to go see her.

He promised.

He just doesn’t want to go there. He wants Callie to be happy. But –

He kicks at an empty beer can. It flies through the air and hits a wall with s small clank. He sees something small and glittery and picks it up. It’s a stone. One of the sparkly ones. He used to think they were diamonds when he was a child. Or stars. But they aren’t. They’re just stones. He turns it over in his hand. If you look at it right it looks almost like a heart. An oddly shaped heart. And there’s a hole in it. It sparkles a little as it lies in the palm of his hand. The forest used to give him gifts for Callie. But they aren’t in the forest anymore. Maybe the city is telling him not to give up on her?
Or maybe it’s just the hunger talking?

It’s a long walk. He is sweaty and dusty when he finally gets there. David wouldn’t approve.

He has to walk around the building a couple of times before he is certain that it is the right door.
{- Yes -}
He takes a deep breath and knocks.

{-
Run.
Yes.
Wind is soft on skin. Stones are hard and slippery beneath feet. Takes skill. Yes.
There is ache. Yes.
Remembering of other places. Yes.
Places of flesh and bones. Yes.
Home.
But home is not for darkness. No.
darkness run free. Yes.
darkness take flesh and blood and keep the hurt away. Yes.
darkness do well.
Yes.
-}

He has entered the forest and now he is shedding himself, disappearing into the shadows, letting go.

{- Yes. Yes. Let go. Run. Run. Free.-}

He is safe. Nothing can happen here. There is nothing but trees and wind and movement.

No thought.

{- Yes. Free. -}

No hurt.

{- Free. -}

No more holding on to keep promises, to protect.

{- No. Free. Run. -}

Nothing more.

{- -}