Topic: What do you regret losing?
Jun. 21st, 2004 10:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mute_clayI had a coin. This big, heavy one. Jude gave it to me one of the first times he stopped by with The Undertaker. He said it was a Spanish coin. From a pirate treasure. Jude was full of it a lot of the time but he might have been telling the truth.
I lost it at some point coming here. Maybe someone saw it and stole it. As I said it was really big. Shiny too. Maybe I just dropped it.
I regret losing that.
Jude was never really a friend. He was a bit afraid of me I think. He’d always jump away from Callie whenever I came out of the barn. If they’d been talking. But he was nice enough in his own way. And he did give me that coin.
I do coin tricks, see?
I’m quite good. And I used this to practice new ones with because it was bigger and heavier. Then, when I had the movements right, I’d move on to smaller coins.
I’ve lost a lot of things. But this one I lost through carelessness so that bugs me. More than the house and all because – we couldn’t just have turned Darkly away. He was ill when Jude brought him. And Callie wanted him to stay.
Now, you all thought I was gonna say I regret losing Callie the most.
Wrong.
For one, you can’t lose a person. Because you don’t have them. It’s not like tools or houses or something like that. It’s like the forest. You don’t own the forest. Some people may think they do. And say they do. Make money on it even. But they are wrong.
I don’t know of any forests that believe themselves to be owned. But then again, most trees are smarter than people.
“What about when people die?” you say.
We still don’t lose them. If anything they pay more attention to what we say. Sure, they don’t say much. But most people prefer to talk anyway.
It’s true.
Everybody loves a good listener. And nobody surpasses the dead when it comes to listening.
And as for Callie being with – someone else. That’s her choice. I can still love her. It doesn’t take that away from me. But he doesn’t understand that.
I bet he says he owns forests too.
Idiot.
I regret things I’ve done. Things that have brought us here, to where we are right now. But that is different. Those are actions. And I did them because I thought they were right. So I only regret them up to a point. The only thing I lost was what might have been if I hadn’t done them. And I don’t know anything about that. I can guess, but I will never know.
So – yeah – I regret losing that coin. It was a good coin. For practicing.
Muse: Clay
Fandom: Passion of Darkly Noon (Misc. Movies)
Count: 475
I lost it at some point coming here. Maybe someone saw it and stole it. As I said it was really big. Shiny too. Maybe I just dropped it.
I regret losing that.
Jude was never really a friend. He was a bit afraid of me I think. He’d always jump away from Callie whenever I came out of the barn. If they’d been talking. But he was nice enough in his own way. And he did give me that coin.
I do coin tricks, see?
I’m quite good. And I used this to practice new ones with because it was bigger and heavier. Then, when I had the movements right, I’d move on to smaller coins.
I’ve lost a lot of things. But this one I lost through carelessness so that bugs me. More than the house and all because – we couldn’t just have turned Darkly away. He was ill when Jude brought him. And Callie wanted him to stay.
Now, you all thought I was gonna say I regret losing Callie the most.
Wrong.
For one, you can’t lose a person. Because you don’t have them. It’s not like tools or houses or something like that. It’s like the forest. You don’t own the forest. Some people may think they do. And say they do. Make money on it even. But they are wrong.
I don’t know of any forests that believe themselves to be owned. But then again, most trees are smarter than people.
“What about when people die?” you say.
We still don’t lose them. If anything they pay more attention to what we say. Sure, they don’t say much. But most people prefer to talk anyway.
It’s true.
Everybody loves a good listener. And nobody surpasses the dead when it comes to listening.
And as for Callie being with – someone else. That’s her choice. I can still love her. It doesn’t take that away from me. But he doesn’t understand that.
I bet he says he owns forests too.
Idiot.
I regret things I’ve done. Things that have brought us here, to where we are right now. But that is different. Those are actions. And I did them because I thought they were right. So I only regret them up to a point. The only thing I lost was what might have been if I hadn’t done them. And I don’t know anything about that. I can guess, but I will never know.
So – yeah – I regret losing that coin. It was a good coin. For practicing.
Muse: Clay
Fandom: Passion of Darkly Noon (Misc. Movies)
Count: 475
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2004-06-21 02:32 pm (UTC)No I'm not okay. I'm fucking miserable and I don't think I'll ever be loved again because I messed up my only chance. I'm interested in a man who gets sick when I touch him. I'm fucking addicted to a junkie teenager. My best friend in the world is interested in me and I'm scared as hell of fucking our friendship up - so scared I can't stand it. My best female friend is defending Jason, and the last time I saw them together she was telling me how bad he was and how I deserved better and now that I've broken up with him - or him with me - she seems to be moving in on him. And I hate this place. I hate this world. I want to go home.I'll be fine.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-06-21 02:40 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-06-21 02:42 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-06-21 02:45 pm (UTC)Birthdays seem like such a nice thing. Almost makes me wish I knew when my is.
How is Julie?
(no subject)
Date: 2004-06-21 02:46 pm (UTC)We could assign you a birthday, if you want.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-06-21 02:49 pm (UTC)And I guess we could. I wouldn't know how to do it really. Ma didn't hold with birthdays.
Darth Maul can't sleep if she hasn't got her fangs deeply embedded in my ankle it seems.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-06-21 04:37 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-06-22 12:39 am (UTC)I'm actually rather fond of Darth Maul. She's just a bit too - eager - at times.
And it's nice having there when I come home from work. I've gotten used to having company.
And she hasn't shredded the curtains Callie made for me yet which is a plus.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-06-22 07:36 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-06-23 02:03 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-06-23 06:18 am (UTC)