almost there

[mute_clay]

Clay goes straight to Orlando’s after having left Alexander’s place. There’s a mail for him. He is too restless to type a long answer and settles for telling Orlando that everything is fine. Almost fine. That he will be all right. And that he wants to tell him about what happens but that he doesn’t have the words.

If I find them I will tell you.

He takes the key for Walker’s bus and gets a coat before leaving a note for Jimmy telling him that everything is all right. Still a lie. But he isn’t sure what to say otherwise.

The walk to Alan’s is uneventful. He has to drop of the key for David. See him if he is home.

It is – almost – time.

Comments

[davidshaw.livejournal.com]

"It's got different rules to the other Monopoly's." David is itching to take the box from Clay and look through it himself. "Isn't it the coolest thing?"

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay pats the couch next to him and places the open box on the table.

It is very cool. You'll have to teach me to play it. What are those things for?

He points at the small houses in the box.

[davidshaw.livejournal.com]

David perces on the arm of the sofa. "Houses. You can buy houses for your properties to develop them. Only if you own the entire colour group, though."

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay takes the different parts out of the box and spreads them on the table. He is getting restless again. He'll have to go soon.

But seeing David smile is nice and there is something about the gift that really pulls at him.

A board game.

He takes up the very colorful money.

So - you buy property - and houses - with these?

[davidshaw.livejournal.com]

"Yeah. And if luck and skill collide, then you build a monopoly and destroy the other players." David plays with the money for a moment. "What happened with Callie? Tell me what happened. Write it down if you have to. No confusion. What happened?"

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay sighs. He should have known it would get to this. He gets up and locates a piece of paper and a biro.

Then he sits down and writes. After a while he pushes the paper over to David.

Someone took her. Think there were two of them but am not sure. We'd argued and she'd called Alexander but all he'd heard was my name so he thought I'd done something to her. Came round and threatened me. Completely hysterical.
They dragged me along - him and some of his friends. Treated me like a fucking dog. We kept finding things the madman had left, pieces of her hair, photos, tapes with her crying.
Somehow they figured out where she was. I don't really remember that. It must have been - the day before yesterday? Before that?
I found her in the basement.
I didn't want to let go of her. Not till she was awake and told me to. So I had to come with them.


It's all a bit blurry. He hasn't eaten since before they went to get Callie. And some of it he doesn't remember at all.

[davidshaw.livejournal.com]

David reads it. His face is expressionless. He can do that when he chooses. When he remembers. Wipe all signs of emotion and reaction from his face.

"What happened to the men?"

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay shrugs a little.

I don't know.

They can both guess though.

He rubs his face. He can hear the sounds from the tape again. Callie crying. The sound of her being hit.

[davidshaw.livejournal.com]

"I was just wondering? Did they get the love and compassion and forgiveness and help that they so deserved?" So cold, so hard. Has to be cold and hard.

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay closes his eyes.

Please David. Don't -

It's not that he doesn't understand. He does. That's the problem. he can't justify her. And he has to.

[davidshaw.livejournal.com]

"Ahhh. I see. They didn't." He picks up the Monopoly pieces. "Which one do you like? I'm always the dog."

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay looks at the pieces blindly. Then he rubs his eyes and tries to focus. It isn't really working.

He leans his head back and closes his eyes.

Just a second David.

[davidshaw.livejournal.com]

David just waits in complete silence. He frustrates everyone. He knows it. He frustrates himself. But that doesn't make him wrong. It only makes him irritating.

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay leans forward and stares at the floor for a little while. Then he looks at David.

I have some - stuff - to take care off. So I'll be gone for a couple of the days. When I get back - when I get back I'd like for you to teach me how to play this. Maybe plan that trip we talked about once. Now you have the bus you won't have to sleep outside. If you want?

Then he remembers something.

Did you get my letter?

[davidshaw.livejournal.com]

The topic is closed. Of course it is.

"Fine." He wants to shake Clay. He wants to say, how can you let them treat me like this, how can you let them do that to me. He wants to say, I never would have let anyone act like you were nothing. You were my friend. But he doesn't. He just says, "Fine."

And then. "No. No letter. Things have been... crazy. Getting back from Rome and stuff."

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay nods. He can tell David is hurt. He sighs.

Ignore the first bit if you find it.

He looks at his hands.
I know you think I've done you wrong. That I am letting you down. But Callie told me not to -

He rubs his eyes again and gets up.

I should get going. I - Callie wants me to be civil to him. I can't. She wants me to accept he is there. I won't. Can't. So I'm ignoring him.

He bites his lip.

I know it isn't much. Too little. But I can't let go of her.

A wry grin.

I almost managed to bite one of his balls off when we fought. Wish I'd succeeded.

Then he looks David in the eye.

If you don't want me coming back I understand. I hope you do. But -

[davidshaw.livejournal.com]

"You shouldn't leave her with him." He fiddles with the monopoly pieces. "He's evil... And she will use it to justify being with him. That she had to because everyone else left her alone. That is what he does. He feeds the need people think they have. He feeds them and fills them."

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

She knows I'll come back. And she called for me. On that tape. She said his name but she called for me.

He is feeling distinctly edgy now. {- Run. Yes. NOW. -}

I know he - manipulates. He tried that. Being reasonable and calm, getting food for us and pretending to think it was okay I was there. To keep Callie happy. I told him I would never touch his food or believe his words. Because of what he did to you.

He looks at David again.

Callie may believe him. I don't.

[davidshaw.livejournal.com]

"Don't leave her. You shouldn't leave people with men like that."

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay closes his eyes briefly again.

What if - what if she liked me because I'm like him? Like that?
I can't - once when I came back from the forest there was blood on my hands.

[davidshaw.livejournal.com]

"Don't leave her."

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

I'm NOT leaving her.

I'm coming back. She knows I am.

[davidshaw.livejournal.com]

"She's alone with him and his fucking fan club. You don't know what it's like to be alone with him."

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay's shoulders shake a little.

David. Please. I -

If he doesn't get away he won't be able to hold his promise to Callie. He looks down at his hands. They've curled up like claws. He tries to relax them.

She WANTS to. Do you think I like that thought?
That she -

A deep breath. It doesn't work.

I have to go. I -

[davidshaw.livejournal.com]

"Okay." He looks tired. "Have a good trip. And thanks for the bus."