looking for seanbean_tm

[mute_clay]

Clay is walking through the house looking for Sean.

He's got a sneaking suspicion that he is being avoided and he cannot figure out why. It grates on him. He considers Sean a friend, someone to trust. Someone who would at least tell him if he had done him wrong somehow.

He knows that others - David - Orlando - aren't happy about him staying at Sean's. About them sleeping together- He's gotten that much out of the glances and the half-spoken cautions. He just doesn't understands why.

He'd like to ask them but it's hard formulating the questions in his mind, let alone let them loose in the empty air between himself and others, fluttering from his hands like birds, leaving strong, sure branches behind, hoping to be caught.

Why?

He doesn't doubt that Sean has his reasons. And that they are his own. But it hurts him, that he isn't being told anything, that he has to walk around in the greater silence of an empty house, enveloping his own.

He suddenly feels very alone. He doesn't feel that he should confide in David who's got enough om his mind and seems determined to blame himself for anything that has to with Sean. And Orlando has known Sean for a while and he wouldn't want to intrude on what is between them.

He is getting edgy and restless, feeling the pull from the shadowing darkness. Like when Callie pulled his chain, teasing him with seemingly innocent remarks about others. What they said. How they smelled. That they liked her.
He needs touch to settle him. Another's warmth close, keeping the coldness of shadows away, But somehow he doesn't think he'll get that anytime soon.

Comments

[seanbean-tm.livejournal.com]

Sean blinks a few times, and then shakes his head. "No -- I haven't seen Viggo -- I've been..." He shakes his head again. "I've been working things out with Pierce. Trying to let Viggo go."



((so this is taking place before LuciferViggo shows up at Sean's place... ack, timelines! >_<))

Re:

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Now Clay is truly puzzled.

Who is Pierce?

But he understands about the letting go part, understands the need for distance.

He points to the door, and then looks at Sean questioningly:

Would you prefer if I left?

[seanbean-tm.livejournal.com]

"Not if you want to stay," Sean says. "Do you have anywhere else you want to be? I don't want to hold you back if you want to leave."

And of course he doesn't want Clay to go. But he's made promises again, and this time he can't break them. And David's right. Sean worries about hurting Clay.

Re:

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay looks down. When he looks up at Sean again his smile is just perhaps a little too bright.

It's up to you

He signs that he is happy for Sean, that he deserves that things has worked out and then he steps closer - because he can do this - can do it without doing more - and places one hand against Sean's cheek and closes his eyes. Just for a second, just feeling warmth and skin. Then he smiles again, that broad, brittle smile and turns to go up the stairs to the attic. Maybe pack a few things?

He doesn't want to leave, but he doesn't dare stay and destroy anything. He wouldn't have wanted anybody to stay with Callie.

He turns and signs that they're friends, that if Sean needs to talk to him he'll be there. Always.

[seanbean-tm.livejournal.com]

Sean's smile doesn't quite reach his eyes, either, and he nods. Friends. Better than lovers, better than being confused all the time. "Thanks," he says softly. "You ever need anything yourself, I'm here for you, too."

Re:

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay smiles at Sean, a smaller but warmer smile. Then he runs back to Sean and gives him a firm hug, writing T H A N K Y O U on his back with a finger. For everything really. He drops a small kiss beneath Sean's ear and goes back up the stairs.
Maybe he'll go see David.