there's no fire
May. 7th, 2004 10:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mute_clayClay comes back to find the house empty. There’s a letter for him in the mailbox and a note for him on the kitchen table.
He makes a cup of tea and sits down at the kitchen table. He reads the letter first. It’s from Callie, he could tell right away.
After having read it he carefully folds the letter and places it back in the envelope. Then he reads the note from Orlando.
He sits for a while at the kitchen table, letting the tea get cold, smoothing Orlando’s note, taking the letter from Callie out of the envelope, reading it, and putting it back a couple of times.
I’m leaving to be with somebody else. Please don’t be angry.
He wonders if they’ve spoken with each other. It sounds that way.
He takes the cup to the sink and empties it, watching the liquid run down the drain. Then he walks outside to do some weeding. He ends up on his knees, fists pushed as deep into the soil as they can get, sobbing. The few tears leave him raw inside. Aching.
He scrubs at his face with dirty hands and goes back inside to curl up on the couch.
There’s a scream inside his mind and it can’t get out. And he can’t run away from it. He promised David not to run away. And Ranuccio. He wishes one of them were here. But he is all alone.
I love you. That’s why I have to leave.
And it isn’t fire he can feel inside. No. The house burned. Darkly burned. He didn’t burn. There is no fire.
Please.
No fire at all.
Please don’t.
And no blood on his hands.
Please don’t be angry.
He closes his eyes and tries to think of light. He misses David.
He makes a cup of tea and sits down at the kitchen table. He reads the letter first. It’s from Callie, he could tell right away.
After having read it he carefully folds the letter and places it back in the envelope. Then he reads the note from Orlando.
He sits for a while at the kitchen table, letting the tea get cold, smoothing Orlando’s note, taking the letter from Callie out of the envelope, reading it, and putting it back a couple of times.
I’m leaving to be with somebody else. Please don’t be angry.
He wonders if they’ve spoken with each other. It sounds that way.
He takes the cup to the sink and empties it, watching the liquid run down the drain. Then he walks outside to do some weeding. He ends up on his knees, fists pushed as deep into the soil as they can get, sobbing. The few tears leave him raw inside. Aching.
He scrubs at his face with dirty hands and goes back inside to curl up on the couch.
There’s a scream inside his mind and it can’t get out. And he can’t run away from it. He promised David not to run away. And Ranuccio. He wishes one of them were here. But he is all alone.
I love you. That’s why I have to leave.
And it isn’t fire he can feel inside. No. The house burned. Darkly burned. He didn’t burn. There is no fire.
Please.
No fire at all.
Please don’t.
And no blood on his hands.
Please don’t be angry.
He closes his eyes and tries to think of light. He misses David.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-07 02:41 pm (UTC)YOU BACK HOME? ANYONE WITH YOU?I'LL BE ROUND 2MORROW, YEAH?
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-07 02:45 pm (UTC)I AM HOME. ALONE. ORLANDOS LEFT. AND CALLIE. WITH ALEXANDER.
He wants to add something, but he doesn't know what. He just hits send.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-07 02:50 pm (UTC)For a moment Ran thinks about calling, but then Clay can't talk so texts has to be.
Alexander....Jason's Alex?
U ALONE? WANT COMPANY? JUST SAY. ANYTHING.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-07 02:55 pm (UTC)He wants to ask him to come. But he can't.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-07 02:58 pm (UTC)Ranuccio doesn't think he's a goo or bad man, he doesn't think of himself much anyway, but he knows he's loyal, once he cares. Clay knew how he ached for Lena and Michele and cried for him.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-07 03:02 pm (UTC)PLEASE
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-07 03:07 pm (UTC)It takes Ranuccio roughly thirty minutes of fast walking to reach Orlando's house, but he knows all the cuts. There's no light in the house that he can see, but he knocks loudly anyway. If someone's is awoken, tough luck.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-07 03:12 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-07 03:17 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-07 03:20 pm (UTC)Callie has left. She is coming back. She told me not to hate her. She's gone away with Alexander. She wants to talk to me when she comes back but I think she will tell me that she cannot see me anymore because she
He cannot write it. He tries. But his hand won't cooperate. So he just hands Ranuccio the paper.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-07 03:40 pm (UTC)"Orlando is a bloody fool. Jase will shake him loose soon, trust me, and he'll be back all needy for you. And you can always tell him not to be such a bastard, friends stick around, they don't leave." A snort underlines the words.
"How do you know what she's going to tell you? Maybe she wants to get back to you, I mean if she wrote before going away...means she was thinking of you doesn't it? not thinking about going away but already thinking about coming back and making sure to talk to you.." Ran kisses the side of Clay's head.
"Maybe it's what you think...maybe not. It's worth waiting to know the truth, isn't it? And...if she's happy with him..." Ran can't say what he knows of Alex. The very weak side he's seen of him. Nor he can say that he killed Lena because he couldn't bear for her to be not with him or with Michele.
"Is that it Clay? Is that why the dark and the voices are coming for you?"
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-07 03:44 pm (UTC)Callie loved Darkly. He was mad. He tried to kill us both and there was so much hate inside him that you could taste it on the air. She - she wants to be with Alexander and he smells wrong too. Like a diseased creature. Wrong.
He looks at Ranuccio, eyes wide in the dimly lit room. He can taste blood.
She loved me.
I am like they are. But he cannot say that either.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-07 03:53 pm (UTC)He breathes deeply before talking. He has no experience of Callie, of her brand of love, he's never met her. But he knows Clay.
"You smell like dark honey. Like wild moss. Like the night falling. Not wrong Clay. Angry, yes, but not wrong..." he hesitates.
"I know you can hurt people. But you aren't. Darkly did. Alex..." better avoid the topic. "You aren't."
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-07 03:58 pm (UTC)I don't want to be like them.
But if he was, maybe Callie would still love him. If he got lost, maybe she'd come back to find him. Call him.
Maybe she wouldn't.
Then he'd go into the dark. There is no halfway in the dark. It is like the forest. It goes on and on and on.
His hands are shaking a little. He lets them. Maybe it'll shake the flesh loose from the bones, turning the bones to dust, flying away on the wind.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-07 04:06 pm (UTC)"Stay here. Clay, you're not like them. You aren't. And that's why it calls you so much..don't you know? It wants...lost souls, all of them. Good and bad. It.." The phone rings and Ranuccio has to answer it once he sees the phone call (http://www.livejournal.com/users/jasonlocke/23338.html?thread=422442#t422442) comes from Jason.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-07 04:10 pm (UTC)He breathes deeply.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-07 04:15 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-08 01:41 am (UTC)He twists and turns and ends up almost on his stomach, face pressed against Ranuccio's belly. It is not the most relaxing position but that doesn't matter.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-08 02:52 am (UTC)Clay, sleeping. Seeking warmth and company. Ran shifts slowly lower, trying to obtain a more comfortable position for both. Then he just closes his eyes, not really sleepy, petting Clay's hair, waiting for a new daa. For light.
Nights were always more difficult, especially when you are alone. The voices were stronger, the dark darker.
Clay shouldn't be sleeping alone. At least not for a while.