[locked to peter_weps_ince]

[mute_clay]

Clay is walking along the shoreline. His jeans are wet from the spray but he doesn’t seem to notice.
He is wearing a jacket for once.

He isn’t looking for Weps.




Exactly.

Comments

[peter-weps-ince.livejournal.com]

Weps hears the whistle and looks around for its source. His eyes quickly find Clay and he smiles a little.

"Hey..." he says softly. "Didn't see you coming. Wanna share the fire for a while?"

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay sits down, nodding. He puts his hands toward the fire, warming them, staring at the flames.

[peter-weps-ince.livejournal.com]

Weps sits quietly, watching the ocean through the flames of the fire. He remembers Clay's face the last time they'd met, how helpless he'd felt, like he'd let Clay down. He wants to ask how he is, if he's okay, if they're still ok, if... but he doesn't trust his voice at the moment.

Despite Clays' presence, Weps feels quite alone.

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay can feel Weps sadness and so he moves closer, trying to get a better look at his face in the flickering light.

When he catches Weps' eyes he marks a tear track down his own cheek with a finger before pointing to Weps, leaving his hand hanging between them.

You're upset. What is wrong?

[peter-weps-ince.livejournal.com]

Weps grasps Clay's hand in his. "I was worried about you," he whispers. "The other day, I kinda felt I'd let you down."

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay looks blankly at him for a second. Then he remembers.
He shakes his head firmly and then smiles at Weps.

No. No no, leaving was good.

[peter-weps-ince.livejournal.com]

"You sure?" Weps watches Clay's nod and smiles, letting go of his hand. "Good," he says softly, "as long as you're okay, then I'm okay."

Weps digs in his rucksack for another bottle of beer and offers it to Clay, his eyes returning to the ocean.

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay accepts the beer, wiggling about a bit to sit comfortably.
He ends up close enough to Weps to feel his body heath but not touching. He takes a sip from his beer and looks to the waves, the constant movement soothing.

[peter-weps-ince.livejournal.com]

"Makes you feel small, doesn't it?" Weps asks, "the ocean, I mean - makes you feel unimportant in the grander scheme of things..."

Weps sighs and leans almost imperceptibly towards Clay so their shoulders touch.

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay nods, putting his arm behind Weps' back, resting his palm against the sand. Then he realizes that Weps can't see him and uses his other hand to trace the word YES on Weps' thigh.

It does.

[peter-weps-ince.livejournal.com]

Weps smiles at the touch and turns his face to Clay's. His eyes are a little blurry.

"Are we okay?" he whispers. "Still friends?"

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay looks almost shocked at this and quickly nods, patting Weps' thigh.

Of course we are. Why shouldn't we be?

He is genuinely puzzled.

[peter-weps-ince.livejournal.com]

"Sorry, Clay... I'm just having a shit day - having some doubts about me... who I am, that's all. And I felt bad about leaving you the other day..."

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay waves a hand dismissively. Don't be.

Then he points to himself and makes a giving motion toward Weps.

Is there anything I can do?

[peter-weps-ince.livejournal.com]

Weps looks at Clay, shaking his head sadly, his eyes filling up. "It's Jed's birthday today," he whispers. "He's nine now - and I wasn't there..."

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay looks shocked. He puts a hand to his heart and bows his head a little. Then he moves closer and puts both arms around Weps.

I'm sorry

[peter-weps-ince.livejournal.com]

Weps turns his head to Clay's shoulder and lets the tears that have been threatening all day, to fall. He feels a sense of loss unlike anything he's known and the warmth of Clay's embrace breaks through his defences. It's a relief.

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay holds him, not trying to shush him, just letting him feel.

He rests his chin against Weps's head and closes his eyes.

He can feel Weps' pain in the tears falling on his shoulder and in the hardness of Weps' shoulders.