at Orlando's house

[mute_clay]

Clay let himself in and let out a whistle. Julie knew who he was now and had decided that he was acceptable company. Clay changed the water in her bowl and measured up food for her. Then he showed her that he had remembered to bring a piece of string. He'd gotten the silent treatment the night before. No string.

Julie happily pounced the string and Clay sat down on a kitchen chair, preparing himself to play with her till she got tired of it. This would happen much more quickly with her than with Darth Maul who believed that no string should be left alive.

Comments

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay frowns a little and gets up from his chair to go and crouch down next to Orlando.

What is it?

[orlandomuse.livejournal.com]

"Feel like I'm going in circles, Clay. I'm right back where I was again with you and Jason, only this time it's Johnny and Jimmy. Difference is, Jimmy loves me, or says he does, and I know he means it, I'm just scared it's only the brain damage talking."

He looks up with a smile, but his eyes are sad.

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay puts his arms around Orlando. It's not the same Orlando. It never will be. People are different from each other. And why shouldn't he love you?

He smooths down Orlando's curls.

[orlandomuse.livejournal.com]

"He didn't love me before. He couldn't stand for me to touch him before. Clay, he fucking vomited when I touched him!" Orlando fights back the tears. "And he jokes about things, like he's going to be just another notch on my bedpost. He apologized after, said he was kidding, but I think that's how he really feels. I think it's how he felt before."

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Maybe he is just afraid?

Clay strokes Orlando's hair and upper arms.

Callie was afraid when she came to us at first. Because she didn't know who she was.

[orlandomuse.livejournal.com]

Orlando shakes his head. "How does that explain changing from finding me disgusting before the accident, then loving me after?" Orlando looks at Clay and there's a hurt in his eyes. "God, I can't believe I'm talking about this with you. Of all people to say what's there not to love about me. You preferred a woman in love with someone else to me."

Orlando knows it's not fair and it's cruel, but he's hurting, and it's all coming out like a poison in his heart.

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay's jaw clenches a little.
Fine.

He gets up and takes a step back, putting some distance between them. Will you need me to look after Julie still?

She doesn't love him. She doesn't.

[orlandomuse.livejournal.com]

Orlando's anger crumbles as he sees the hurt in Clay's eyes. "I'm sorry," he whispers. "No wonder no one wants me for long. You should go, before I hurt you more."

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay sighs. Never mind. It doesn't matter.

[orlandomuse.livejournal.com]

Orlando puts his head on his folded arms, face down on the table. "Does matter," comes muffledly from him. "It matters a hell of a lot when I'm lashing out at someone who's only trying to help."

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay sighs again and puts a warm hand on Orlando's back, rubbing it a little.

It's okay.

[orlandomuse.livejournal.com]

Orlando feels his hand and it makes him cry harder. "I'll send you a text message about Julie, okay?" He can't look up. He doesn't want to see the hurt he put in Clay's eyes.

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay looks at him for a bit. Then he pulls a little at Orlando's shoulder. Come on. It's okay.

[orlandomuse.livejournal.com]

Orlando shrugs, as if he's trying to pull away, then he turns and wraps his arms around Clay's waist, pressing his face into his belly. "I'm sorry."

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay pets his hair for a little while, waiting for him to calm down a bit.

[orlandomuse.livejournal.com]

"I'm so tired Clay, and I'm so damned scared. I feel like I'm losing my mind."

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay extracts himself from Orlando's arm so he can crouch down and put his arms around Orlando, hugging him close.

[orlandomuse.livejournal.com]

Clay smells warm and familiar and good, and Orlando buries his face against his neck.

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay rocks them both a little. He doesn't really know what to do but this seems to help.

[orlandomuse.livejournal.com]

After a few minutes, Orlando lifts his head and rubs his cheek against Clay's. "Thank you," he murmurs.

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

A small clap on the back.

Anytime. You know that.

Clay gets up, wincing a little as one of his knees protest loudly.

[orlandomuse.livejournal.com]

"Are you okay?" Orlando looks concerned.

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay gives him a small grin.

I'm just getting old.

He sits down on the edge of the table.

[orlandomuse.livejournal.com]

Orlando gives him a look. "Do you have a bathtub? 'Cause you know you can come over here if you need a soak."

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay shakes his head a little, smiling. I have a shower down the hall. And if there was a bath I sure as Hell wouldn't be sitting down in it.

He grins.