Topic

The most important decision….

I don’t know.

I could say that I fell in love with Callie but that wasn’t a decision. It was a given. I couldn’t not have even if I had wanted to.

I could say that I chose to leave her but that wasn’t a decision either. Not really. I mean, a decision is something that you think about and then you do it. I just left. One night. She was asleep. She’d been helping set up the enclosure for the elephant and she smelled like hay. She did that in the beginning as well. She slept in the hayloft back then.

All too often my life is like a stream, one of the cold ones, up among the rocks, flowing far too rapidly for me to change anything. To think.

I decided that I wouldn’t love again. Not after Callie. I guess that is a big decision. It’s the one I think about the second most. I think the most about whether it was right of me to leave.

Hay smells golden. Like her hair.

Loneliness smells like the darkness in the forest.
When the leaves caress your face and the dew is cold.

It smells like wet concrete.
And it feels even worse.
I miss the smell of hay.

And I won’t love because that way I won’t have to make that kind of decisions ever again.


Count: 218
Muse: Clay
Fandom: Passion of Darkly Noon (Misc. Movies)

[locked to peter_weps_ince]

Clay is walking along the shoreline. His jeans are wet from the spray but he doesn’t seem to notice.
He is wearing a jacket for once.

He isn’t looking for Weps.




Exactly.