A note for davidshaw

[mute_clay]

Clay isn’t certain whether David has already left for Rome. He doesn’t think so. He is fairly certain that David would come round to say goodbye. Or call.

He walks over to Allan’s house on his way to the diner. He could use some reassurence before going to try and talk with Callie but David doesn’t seem to be in. He writes a note to him and leaves it there.

Hi David

I met Callie’s friend. Walker says it’s somebody you might know. His name is Alexander except it sounds a little stupiddifferent.

I don’t trust him.

Will Callie be all right you think?

I should go apologize to her. I sort of yelled at him.

~Clay

Comments

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay shakes his head.

No. It won't do any good.

He sighs, rubbing his face.

She won't listen David.

She won't. Not if she likes him. She won't care if he is bad. Darkly was.

[davidshaw.livejournal.com]

David stares at him. "Alex is a rapist and murderer. She can't defend that. Listen to me, Clay. That man has threatened my mother and Alan, do you understand that. He is dangerous. No dramatics, no bullshit. Dangerous. If she is the sort of woman who finds that sort of thing... appealling. Then so be it. She isn't half the woman you painted her to be."

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay tries to explain, aware that his movements turn terse and annoyed.

It's not that she likes that. It just doesn't matter to her. Not if she has decided to care. Darkly tried to kill us and -

One leg is bouncing now, the urge to flee so strong it manifests itself physically.

She thought he might have killed me. But she still loved him. She -

Then he sees the look on David's face.

Don't start!

[davidshaw.livejournal.com]

David stands up. "Don't start? You leave me the fucking note. Your precious little girlfriend runs around playing lady fucking muck with the same guy who... has threatened to kill Alan and my mother. And you tell me not to fucking start. This is bullshit."

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay stands up as well, putting a hand on David's arm but without curling his fingers. Just a flat palm resting against David's arm.

I know. I know what he is. I can smell it. But telling her that won't help. I already have. If he hasn't hurt her she won't listen. She'll believe, she'll be chocked. But she won't listen.

If David looks close enough he'll be able to tell that Clay is terrified.

[davidshaw.livejournal.com]

"So him hurting other people wont be enough?"

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

A sigh.

She thinks that if she -

His left leg is trembling again, so close to running.

If she loves him enough, he'll stop.

He isn't sure this is true but he thinks that is why.

[davidshaw.livejournal.com]

"Then they're perfect for each other. From what I can work out, that is his excuse too. If someone only loved him well enough and long enough then all would be right in the world." His voice is icy. "It seems I am the only fucker who has worked out that not everyone deserves love and it isn't everyone else's obligation to give it whenever it is asked for."

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay shakes his head sharply. That is not true. He doesn't believe that. Callie loved Darkly and that didn't stop him, did it?

And it is clear enough that David doesn't like Callie, so he won't understand anyway.

His fingers are trembling a little as well now. But he can't run away. He has to talk with Callie first. Warn her. Try and warn her.

[davidshaw.livejournal.com]

"Look, I'll warn Callie. What she does then... that is her business, right?" Afterall, that is what everyone said of him and he had suffered a lot more at Krycek's hands than Callie was ever likely to.

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay removes his hand. It's trembling now. He nods. Then he tells David that he is going to see Callie today anyway, clasping his hands behind his back to stop them from trembling.

Of course it won't just be Callie's business. Not if Alexander is really like that. But he doesn't say that.

[davidshaw.livejournal.com]

"Fine. Do you want to go now, with me?" David is obviously angry. Callie hasn't even been hurt and there is this fuss.

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay looks at the look on David's face, the way he stands.

Then his eyes widen.

Alexander?
He didn't just threaten you did he?

[davidshaw.livejournal.com]

"He did what he did. And I did what I did. And that is that." David doesn't even blink. "Do you want to go see your Callie or not?"

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay nods, a little absentmindedly.
He'll go see Callie.

He feels dizzy all of a sudden, the blood pounding in his ears.

He is looking down on his hands. There isn't any blood on them. But there could be.

[davidshaw.livejournal.com]

David has grabbed Clay's shoulders and is shaking him by them before he even realises.

"Stop it. Stop acting crazy. Are you listening to me?"

He stops then and stands back. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm not doing too well myself."

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay looks up at him, giving him a slow smile.

That's okay. I guess I am. Sort of.


He can't tell David of going running so close to the dark. Because he promised he'd come to say goodbye if he left. And he isn't sure he can.

[davidshaw.livejournal.com]

"I'm sorry." He repeats. "I'm really sorry."

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay steps a little closer.

It's okay David.

It is.

[davidshaw.livejournal.com]

"Let's go then. See Callie." David forces a smile. "Sort out this mess."

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay nods. A bit reluctantly.

He takes the empty mugs to the sink. You can see his hands tremble a little.

[davidshaw.livejournal.com]

David waits in the car. When Clay gets in, David grins. "I forgot to leave a note for Alan. He will freak. And I'm supposed to be at work. Lilah will freak."

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay grins at him and shakes his head a little.

The bandage on his left foot is annoying him so he takes his boot off, trying to readjust it before putting the seatbelt on.

[davidshaw.livejournal.com]

"What did you do to your foot?"

[mute-clay.livejournal.com]

Clay looks up, a little guiltily.

I ran away. After they'd come to the house.

He shrugs.

I sort of forgot I wasn't wearing any shoes.